Category - SURVIVAL:
- If you are assaulted, scream Fire! People are more likely to come to your aid than if you shout Help!
- If you are lost in the woods, always travel downstream.
- Bears can outrun, outclimb, and outswim a human. Your only hope is to run downhill. A bear's center of gravity makes it difficult for them to run downhill. (Wacondah does not fully agree on this one... you might also take your chances and "play dead" or not venture into the woods at all... Or jump into a canoe, as the bears surely does not paddle as well as you...)
Category: kids
- A child will become as you describe him to others.
- Children should get library cards when they can write their full names.
- Crabby babies get more attention than quiet babies, and babies who get more attention have higher IQs.
- Parents teach more by example than by words. Reading parents have reading children; achieving parents have achieving children.
- When babies start grunting, wait 20 minutes before changing them. That way you will change only one messy diaper, not two.
- The number of guests at a child's birthday party should be limited to the age of the child. Invite three for a three-year-old, five for a five-year-old.
- Inappropriate seasonal dress is one of the first signs of a youngster abusing drugs.
Category: Romance & Marriage
- Shut the heck up, feed him what he likes to eat, and sex on Saturday that he can take a nap after.
