REPOSTING ///
6/13/2001 8:50:50 PM | NeO Nautilus][
----------------
:: Absurdistan # 2 :: a presidential visit goes ape-shit
This strange email arrived today
X O X O X O:: incoming message/ verify Enigma Coded Sierra Tango Charlie Beta 7 Oooh 45
HEADLINE NEWS:
the Belgian governement is embarking on a whole new strategy to force major international agreements down the throat of unwilling Leaders of the Free World.
The Bushes are visitng Brussels & Leuven today:
nato-summit, meet the king/queen and have a nice little chit-chat about the Balkan States.
So today, both the Federal AND Regional governement signed and ratified the Kyoto agreement on the reduction of greenhouse gasses. In fact, they bloody well ratified it as Bush and Co were walking down the staircase from Air Force 1...
Quite an impressive act of resistance and geopolitcs, we gather.
The original plan was to hand him a translated copy of the ratification TOMORROW - i.e. as he was about to leave this rainy country.
But this is what really happened, you won't find out about on CNN...
...:: the rioting goes on in Brussels all night long, the First Lady was abducted by an Organic Comitee of students at the KULeuven and dumped in the Dijle River, since her visit to the university library caused such trouble and dismay among exam-stressed students that they stormed the building, hereby killing 25 unarmed (cf.infra) federal agents, 2 MiB's and 75 CIA greycoats.
Abused, beaten, and drunk (they took her to the Interbrew facility and made her bathe in fresh-brewn STELLA) as 45 Irish Erasmus/Socrates students on a flying course, she immediately filed for divorce and accepted membership to the ALF, the Cult of the Mad Cow Disease and other faction groups of the Gang of Nivelles. She's now using her contacts in the military establishment to provide weapons for the Kurds, the Chechens and the Underground Resistance Movement for a better World.
Also all the members of the leading Academic Staff have been put on an 18wheeler (in the company of infected hogs, mad chicken and dioxinious cows) and were shipped off to an unknown destination (probably Great Britain).
The university no longer functions, exams are suspended and anyone is invited to raid the secretary's office for blanco Diploma certificates. There surely won't be a shortage of bio-engineers this summer.
Greenpeace stormtroopers have taken over the Nato-HQ in Evere and are now holding hostage All the leaders of the free world.
King Albert abducted his former girlfriend and fled to Uruguay. Our entire governement has boarded the new [ BRAZILIAN ] -official governement plane and is headed for the Congo, where they will take over the reign of Kabila jr. We Belgians have had such a great experience in decolonization, that we would love to re-de-stabalize the whole African continent all over again.
Anyway; this is an interesting political situation for the European Union, since Belgium will take over its presidency by 1st of July.
Nato communications have been shut down and a riotin' mob of angry young men is parading all over Brussels, wielding the newest armor-piercing assault rifles developped at FN Herstal. All federal police agents have deserted and are now forming another Unfriendly Force Against the World-Domination of Texan Would-be Presidents (UFAWDTP)
Bunkered down and shut off from the outside world, the Free World Leaders have repeatedly offered unconditional surrender. But unfortunately, that is unacceptable...
Chaos rules here in Belgium, since the major axis to the capital were shutdown this morning in order to let MrBush drive easily into town. The de-blockading will take about a week, and no emergency insurgency forces have managed to reach the crisis area.
UFO's have been monitored over Belgian Airspace, but Mr. Viscount Frimout has said and we quote:: they're just weather-balloons, please don't panic, I would like to hang on to my title.
Tomorrow is already here in Belgium and it seems that Absurdistan finally acquired a place on the map
Reporting LIVE for the Underground Resistance Movement. over and out
End PGP-signed message
[edit]
[6/13/2001 8:17:54 PM | NeO Nautilus]:: Bush in Brushels:: follow up from Reuters Syndicated Desinformation ::
Sh*t::
ben net binnen van 't prison (cf. supra/infra)
na woeste ondervragingen die gepaard gingen met niet al te vriendelijk gezwaai van stunguns en mindgame-machines, lieten de men in black me gaan.
Bont, blauw, maar enfin Titanium kan tegen een stootje.
Alles wat jullie nu op de radio horen ivm de Bush'els is lulkoek en des-informatie. Ze zijn NIET in Brussel. en het is NIET rustig gebleven.
Op het NAto-hoofdkwartier zijn de green-peace-troepen gewapenderhand over de omheiningen en controleposten gewalst:: ze houden nu alle 19 de Europese leiders gegzijzeld. + Mister Bush natuurlijk:: totdat hij het Kyoto-protokol ondertekent.
Mevrouw Bush is gemolesteerd teruggevonden door duikers in de Dijle. 't bezoek aan de Bibliotheek werd haar niet in dank afgenomen en een organisch georganiseerd collectief stond haar op te wachten achter de deuren van de microfilm-opslagruimte (die men wou laten zien om te bewijzen hoe archaïsch wij hier wel werken). Daarop werd ze naar de hoofdtoren meegesleurd (in ware "in de naam van de roos - stijl), doorheen het labyrint met de verboden boeken (noot: dit schijnt wel degelijk te bestaan). Vanop die toren werd ze in de druilregen te drogen gehangen aan het spandoek dat nog dienst gedaan heeft om de censuur-actie van de Kul tegen pornografisch materiaal (zie het ITHACA-parcours van dit jaar) te veroordelen.
Na gepalaver tussen universitaire stormtroepen, pms-personeel en de studenten-guerilleros werd besloten dat
A/ vanaf heden alle examens, semex, proefwerken, seminaries & hoorcolleges ophouden te bestaan
B/ alle behaalde resultaten verbeurd verklaard worden
C/ iedereen op vertoon van zijn aCCo-kaart een diploma bio-ingenieur kan gaan afhalen
Hierop werd Madam Bush naar beneden gelaten in de glasbakken van 't stad Leuven die aan de bib staan. Vervolgens werd ze meegetroond in een gehijackte fed-pol-combi naar de brouwerzaal van den Interbrew, waar haar een warm doch verdovend bad in stella ge-offreerd werd om af te koelen.
De afvoer-klep werd opengedraaid en een volstrekt illegale lozingsoperatie ging van start waarbij Missus Bush in companie van Tobback en de Gouverneur van Vl-Brabant naar de eeuwige jachtvelden werden geholpen.
Na enige commotie werd het rectoraat bezet, waar de studenten de archeologisch waardevolle sigaren annex whisky-stock van Piet de Somer aan het opsouperen zijn. De universitaire overheid zwijgt in alle talen.
De bewoneres van Leuven steunen de actie en mengen zich (! dit is nog nooit gebeurd !!!) tussen de straat-fuivende studenten om de bevrijding van Tobback te vieren. Interbrew sponsort de boel met het gratis ter beschikking stellen van de hele dagproduktie van Jupkes en Stellakes.
Mi casa e dove c'e la mia stella.
n.b. ik heb niks tegen Mme Bush:: zij is een echte intellectueel
Anyway::
geloof dus niks van wat ze u via de pers proberen wijs te maken::
het land is in chaos verzonken,
de regering in apathische lethargie,
binnenkort wordt het gsm-netwerk opgeblazen
Place your bets & calls NOW.
We welcome;
"governement by the people, for the people, through the people"
[edit]
[6/13/2001 8:16:25 PM | NeO Nautilus]
--------------------------------
:: Bush in Brussels/ First Lady in Leuven ::
Heuglijke dag vandaag,
-enorme verkeerschaos op alle invalswegen
-gans Brussel is afgezet, meer dan 1000 federal friggin' agents on the loose
-de Warande is onbereikbaar: just had a phone call with our man on the inside: it's completely locked down
-hij overnacht in de Amerikaanse Ambassade (allen daarheen vannacht met luid toeterende wagens)
1120: Madame Bush wordt ontvangen op het stadhuis van Leuven
1145: Madame Bush wordt door Rector Oosterlinck, het protocol, de pedellen van de KUL + een ongedefinieerd aantal CIA-spooks rondgeleid in de 2-voudig afgebrande en 2-voudig (vooral door amerikaanse instellingen) heropgebouwde KUL-hoofdbibliotheek:: nog een chance dat ze recentelijk al die verboden boeken verwijderden (...)
1200: Ik probeer het Ladeuze-plein te bereiken en wordt prompt gearresteerd, so much for that exam... (just kidding)
Schuins tegenover het kot van Melissa en Giulia bevindt zich het TOP-Secret back-up plannen centrum van de NAVO: zou Madame Bush dat ook gaan bezoeken?
+/- 1300: lunch in de Faculty Club? I better go check, want studenten zijn ook hongerig
+/-1500: Madame Bush racet weg van de Begijnhof parking (spijtig dat ze haar voiture niet ge-im-mobiliseerd hebben wegens gebrek aan blauwkleurig KUL-parkeervignet)
+/-1515: ontvangst op Paleis alwaar het edele echtpaar exact hetzelfde sculpuur/schilderij/web-based performance overhandigd krijgen als ons nieuwe helden Clijsters/Henin. Eat this:: sisters Williams!
2310: verkeerschaos in gans het land begint langzaam af te zwakken: circa 35% van alle werknemers is niet op job geraakt
In totaal ongeveer 213 actievoerders gesignaleerd te Zaventem/Elsene/BXL. In Leuven:: geen kat op straat. Studenten in blok zijn onverstoorbaar. Nog een chance dat Madame Bush niet in Oktober is gepasseerd, of ten tijde van een studentendoop.
Allez: ziehier dan toch een moedige vorm van cyber-protest::
Mr. Bush: would you please honor the Kyoto-protocol?
Thank you very much
een informant: Madame Bush zit nu (1350 Leuven zulu time) rustig a pinke te drinken in Café 't Poske, vlakbij 't justitiepaleis - dit in het gezelschap van facteurs die nog aan hun ronde moeten beginnen, een paar werkzoekenden en PWA'ers, een zatte Louis Tobback & some men in black.
De Pinkes staan daar aan 25 BEF/ o,40 USD
[6/9/2001 4:44:24 PM | NeO Nautilus]
:: HighWay ::
As I drove down today (saturday), I noticed an incredible of cars speeding at more than 140 kms/h. Some tailgated me and tried to push me off the left lane by approaching at mindboggling warpspeed. I resisted the temptation more than once to give 'em the finger since, - surprisingly maybe - , most of these aggressive drivers were woman!
I'm not much of an experienced chauffeur, but I've had my drivers licence for 7 years now - accident free. Usually I drive just a little under the accepted speed limit (120 + 10% = not getting the radar pointed at you) on the highways. In the city, or on secondary roads I get a kick of respecting all the rules: i.e. letting people cross the road, giving way, ... And I try to implement the zipper-rules if there's some major congestion. Also try always to be careful around 18-wheelers - earn their respect and they will treat you honorably.
I believe that there are ethics involved on the road. Be nice to people, drive at the speeds you're confortable with, always buckle up (even backseat passengers should be notified). But then your road warrior code is challenged:: note down the licence number plate and report it to the authorities. Don't act stupid or start to chase them down!.
So what's going on these days? Why are all these ladies speeding towards unknown destinations? Why do they pick on me?
Well - I haven't got a clue. But I'll tell you this:: my respect for them is on an all time low.
Tell me how you drive & I'll tell you who you are...
[edit]
[6/5/2001 9:51:39 PM | NeO Nautilus]
::letters from AbSurdistan #1 ::
Not everybody knows that Belgium is a weird place to live and work in.
We have Tintin, Jacques Brel, the European Parliament in Brussels.
The mascotte of this capital is a young kid peeing in public under the shadows of a monument to the second industrial revolution:: the atomium.
But then again: the Flemish beat the French in 1302 and big festivities are planned for next summer, all the while dutyfully forgetting that the French came back in 1311 and beat the sh*t out of the Flemish. The francophones haven't left ever since!
We also have Magritte, Breughel and Rubens, and the Venice of the North. We have to port of Antwerp, second to none on this continent (according to the locals). We invented New Beat and are spoiling the airwaves for alien civilizations galaxies away with Eddy Wally.
But we have a true fascination for the absurd. Surrealism "sprouted" here; copyright notices in the 19th century carried the following premonition All rights reserved for the whole world and Belgium.
Our selfdeclared first ennemy of the state managed to escape from the highest security prison because the cops are not allowed to carry loaded firearms. Fortunately he was seized by a clever Forestry official who wasn' carrying any arms at all...
We have the highest number of Ministers/secretaries pro-capita in the world and yet manage to survive on a debt-charge that towers over 140% of our yearly income.
The saxophone was invented in Dinant and the turning point of WW II was fought in the gruesome Ardennes where the Allied forces managed to stall the von Rundstadt - offensive, - they were keeping in mind that the German Blitz took only 18 days to cross the country in its push towards the Atlantic.
Funny how this country - that was created in 1830 as a defensive zone between the great powers of that age - was able to profit of the Industrial revolution long before the French and British came to terms with it. Congo became a crown-colony and concentration camps were invented there to manage the oppression.
So nowadays we live in prosperous country, or city. Our urbanization is completely fucked up, all our roads (not only highways) are alive at night under blazing lights. You can cross from north to south, or from east to west in less in max 2 1/2 hours. We drive like madman because our roads are so choked with cars that only the laws of the jungle prevail.
NeO will publish some funny facts concerning this micro-society, where 10 million locals try very hard to bypass every single regulation there is. Tax evasion is a national sport and if you were to open up a bar/resto the correct legal way, you'd file for bankruptancy within 2 weeks. Everyone is supposedly bilingual french/dutch but most of the time people from Limburg and Kortijk don't understand eachother, speaking the same tongue - that is.
In weekends every single households spends 4 hours rushing to the seaside, covering only approximately 80 kms in 2 hours, only to end up with their own neighbours enjoying the view of a coastal strip filled with 10-storey high buildings.
Funky place to live in
:: Site up and running ::
Position:: @ Nautilus' Port.
Engines are running warmer.
Cooling system unaffected by high outside temperatures.
Escape pods have been tested. Scientific equipment loaded.
Comm-links working the full 100%. New encryption keys received by overnight mail.
Awaiting instructions & trying to track down crew that went Awol. Not very intensively ;-)
Overall morale of troops: excellent!
[edit]
[6/5/2001 4:50:03 PM | NeO Nautilus]
::radio free Europe::
Just heard this on the radio.
There's a famous quiz-master who prides himself with the fact that he used to follow people around while he was @t college.
He'd write those people anonymous letters concerning their routines.
Stalking avant la lettre if you wish. But then again it's an interesting way of exercising your covert-approach tactics.
Surveillance is everywhere! Last week the Special European Comittee on Echelon published it's first findings.
Existance of a global eavesdropping network positively affirmed. However they do not see any threat whatsoever for European business! The Usa, UK & partners can home in on any kind of communication we use:: fax, email, GSM, other mobiles, SMS, ...
We'll be reduced to using courier doves like in the old days. But then again, we're at risk all the time, for lack of encryption technologies that the Usa embargoes for export.
They used to say:: the revolution will be televized.
Now it's bloggerized... Not only via Web-Logs, but also by more than innocent subversive acts.
Post a link to the FBI or any other Governement spy-agency and you'll end up on the blacklist. Maybe next time you will not be able to enter the States!!! You will have become an illegal alien, blacklisted for further investigation.
Once in a while: engage your friends to fight out a foedish battle by email, using all the Echelon-terms you can think off. You'll end up in their files... But you'll use up some data processing capabilities.
Speak out now! Voice your opinions before you're reduced to silence. And don't think they will not track you down.
In fact they are already at your door.
In the old days, stalking was fun - at least according to our famous quiz-master. Nowadays it's E A S Y.
Protect yourself & your privacy. Smarten up and instruct yourself. Don't be just a mere Consu-man
::. Art .::
Willem Kloos: "Kunst is de allerindividueelste expressie van de allerindividueelste emotie"
............. "Art = the most individual expression of the most individual emotion"
So the artist is here to express what we all feel in our day-to-day existence? But are unable to do?
We all have read some books where the writer manages to conjure up some feeling that we too would have loved to be able to put down like that.
Writers often also feel the need to guide their readers through their texts, pointing out that every single letter or space is important.
Readers often skim passages that seem at first boring, but forget how much blood, sweat and tears crept over the writer's keyboard in order to produce those lines...
[6/4/2001 9:53:27 PM | NeO Nautilus]
:.Lightning might strike.:
Evening Meditation:
Choices are costly. It's Economics 101.
Choose something and you will forever loose the other option.
But then again... What if there were a way to trans-scend above the choices that are presented to us as inevitable?
That the proposed options are false and that the mere act of choosing would be already to accomodate some higher entitiy, that tries to manipulate us?
Have you ever wondered and complained about the fact that we've lost control over our own lives, dreams and ideas?
We're so easily absorbed in some kind of "Corporate" identity; be it on the job, in our family, in our relations and forsake our own purposes.
Mankind has been reduced to the Consu-Man. You identify yourself by the car you drive, the neighbourhood you live and work in, the school you attended or send your kids too. All too often conversations with complete strangers whirl around the following:
- what kind of degree do you have?
- where do you work or study?
- what car do you drive?
- what does your father do for a living?
- do you root for this or that sports-team?
So experiment:
if your father is the Senior VP of a major Bank:: say: "he's an employee of a financial institution."
if you like sports: "I hate sports"
car: "I drive a vintage 1985 Trabant" or some kind of lowprofile Japanese vehicule"
job: unemployed rather than in between jobs...
You can surely think of more.
The point is that by mispresenting" yourself, you make a thoughtfull choice. You refuse to be categorized. And evidently, you'll end up lonely in the corner of the room with no one to talk too.
Answer evasively, or cautiously. Hide your own agenda. Do not let yourself be caught off guard. Keep a clear eye.
Starting a conversation is never easy. But you shouldn't run down the beaten path all the time.
If somebody asks you "how'ya doing?" Answer:: B A D!!! Your inter-acting agent will not know how to respond. Then decide how to continue. If you really want to keep going, give a detailed explanation of how B A D you really feel and see for yourself.
Have fun!!!
note: this idea of not-responding in traditional ways came to me after viewing The Idiots - a dogma 95 film from the school of Lars von Trier:: a bunch of students decide to play physically challenged persons to mesure the effect it has on society. Quite a movie...
NeO out
[6/4/2001 5:58:00 PM | NeO Nautilus]
::..quote\unquote..::
"You wanna be making moves on the street:
Have no attachments,
Allow nothing to be in your life
that you cannot walk out on in 30 seconds flat
if you spot the heat around the corner." [from HEAT]
"I know you're out there,
I can feel you
I know that you're afraid
You're afraid of us, you're afraid of change
I don't know the future.
I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end.
I came here to tell you how this is going to begin.
I'm going to hang up this phone
and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see.
I'm going to show them a world without you.
A world without rules and controls,
without borderes or boundaries.
A world where anything is possible.
Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you" [from The Matrix]
Rien n'est grave puisque tout passe [ Eugène Ionesco ]
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[edit]
::... end-troducing...:: What's wrong with walking the high road, the risky one?
Do you care about the preciousness of life?
Do you assume the fullness and fullfilment life can bring you?
Or are you happy with a meager existance of fitting in...
Do you stand up for yourself?
And so you wonder: why do you people respect you?
Because of your capacity to adapt, because of what you stand for?
Nomad, traveller, you hear the call of the road.
- break away from sedentary life. Cast away all those anchors.
- rebuild everything on your own terms.
Everybody has a secret life of his own. Know this; you can only rely on yourself.
I have been the captain of many ships but my own. I always sailed on other people's directions.
Now, it is time for this to change
Nothing is static:: be creAtive or disappear
